I do not share because I am ashamed

I do not share because I feel guilt

I do not share because nothing will change

I do not share because I am nothing

I have no voice

This is my story

I pace trapped within my own brain and thoughts. It is here in the darkness I live. It is all I know. It is where I feel safe. I want to come out. To be present. But feel overwhelmed by the unknown . I am vaguely aware of the moments and sounds around me. Other parts of my body are in control and leap into action. But here I am, huddled in the darkness, cradling the girl who is scared to come out. My ears start to follow the music of breath. In ….. Out……. In……. Out……. The rhythm becomes mine. I move my hand to find another. I reach out and someone takes hold. I grab on tightly, allowing myself to take steps towards the present. I open my eyes and am met with ones of compassion, love and understanding.

“You are strong”

“You can do this”

Together we walk along this journey. And when I get lost. I am able to find them. Looking into those eyes filled with hope.

They held me when I couldn’t.

They met me with compassion when I couldn’t.

They honored my voice when I couldn’t.

They believed in my strength when I couldn’t.

They saw me.

I now hold my whole world in my arms, surrounded by light and love. All because they were able to just be.

And I didn’t even need to share.


Sarah Adelmann